Blog Title: The Jersey Toddshow Podcast

Show Number 125 - Barack for President

A special thanks to DJ Z Trip for allowing me to play his fantastic Barack Obama Mix. Go Vote!

Listen to the show here

Checking in with Garrison

Show Number 124 - Defending Another Podcaster

Back with a vengance, its the Jersey Toddshow. I was all fired up tonight about Podcamp Philly, and the Podcasting community. The good, bad, and ugly is all here. (Well, I'm not sure about the ugly....)

Featuring

1. Walt Ribeiro
2. Jim Boggia
3. Linda Chorney
4. Koufax
5. Nelo
6. Jakob Martin

Buy this album

I interviewed these gentlemen a couple weeks ago, but I had to once again encourage you to check out their album. I am absolutely addicted to it, and you will be, too.

Helping Barack Ad-Lib

My candidate, Barack Obama, took some silly heat from John McCain today, because he said the following:

"You can put lipstick on a pig," Obama said during a campaign stop. "It's still a pig. You can wrap an old fish in a piece of paper called change. It's still going to stink after eight years."

McCain's campaign accused Obama of "smearing" Governor Palin, in "offensive and disgraceful" comments and demanded an apology â though McCain himself used the folksy metaphor a few times last year,including once to describe Hillary Rodham Clinton's health care plan.

As you know, I love to write, and I am not 100% sure that the phrase was something provided to Senator Obama, or if it was something that he came up with on the spur of the moment. However, in an effort, to help the Obama campaign, the following are phrases to avoid in the future as to not offend the hypersensitive McCain/Palin ticket:

1. "We need to stop pork in Washington"
2. "Dumber than whale blubber"
3. "You can't put a ribbon on a turd."
4. "An empty pants-suit"
5. "You can't put a pair of glasses on a pig and call it Professor"
6. "Sillier than building an igloo on the equator"

I have known pigs, pigs have been friends of mine, and Sarah Palin is no pig with lipstick. Saying so would only insult a well respected member of the barnyard community, and I don't believe that was Senator Obama's intention.

Compare the McCain/Palin reaction to perceived name calling to the Obama reaction, and really think about who is addressing the substantive issues here.

Finally, what's good for the goose is indeed good for the the porker.

Impressions of Podcamp Philly

Today, I attended Podcamp Philly. Here are my observations:

1. Actual Podcast listening is down among podcasters. Actual Podcast listening among the rest of society is up.
2. Tired: Transparency. Wired: Independent Campaign Management
3. Not all Philly Cheesesteaks are something to write home about.
4. Advertisers that are concerned with CDM don't really get podcasting but are willing to try it for those shows that can give them hard numbers. Reaching out to Mom/Pop businesses has far more potential for revenue streams.
5. The "Jersey Todd" brand is strong among other podcasters. Some still listen to the show. (See #1)
6. Its been 10-years since I've sat in a classroom, and I still don't know how to behave.
7. Matthew Ebel made the fantastic "Beer and Coffee" album in his bedroom, and is taller in person than I expected.
   
8. There are very few people who understand their hardware that are capable of actually using it well for good content. There are very few people with good content that are actually any good at using their hardware. Somewhere in the middle are the good podcasts.
9. Twitter is the new way to pass notes in class
10. There is a really good reason why some audio podcasters should remain audio podcasters. (I am including myself in this bunch - we're all a bunch of mutts).
    

Show Number 123 - Back to School

1. The Ying Yang Twins
2. Joanna Burns
3. Rinaldi Sings
4. JJ Grey and Mofro
5. Christian Brown
6. Jakob Martin

Jersey Todd Sports Talk Legal Radio Webcast Thingy.

Today, I spoke with Brian of the Star Ledger regarding Michael Strahan's divorce and possible return to the Giants. Brian does a fantastic webcast that you need to check out (and maybe he'll have me back some day).

Check out the reviews of the episode on "The Exploding Newsroom"

Show Number 122 - Carol Burnett, Original Gangster

If that title doesn't grab you, what does?

Featuring:

1. John Taglieri
2. Paul French
3. Geoff Smith
4. The Fire Apes
5. Griffen Gilgamesh
6. The Ampersands
7. James Dunn
8. Grace Potter and the Nocturnals

Plugged

Check out this nice email that I got from the boys at Woodfish.

'Hey Todd, I told the 95.9 WRAT to plug your podcast. They are pushing our show for this Saturday and I had them use a quote from, you, âThey are just a lot of fun, with a mix of sounds and enthusiasm that is just infectious.â Plus itâs a nice plug for your podcast.

Now podcasting, is taking over FM.
 
Listen in tonight around 8:50; 9:50; 11:50 and tomorrow too. The times are not exact though'

Hey Mevio! Let's go shopping!

According to reports on the net, our friends at Mevio have gotten another round of venture capital - this time in the amount of $15 million dollars. I don't know the first thing about venture capital, how it works, or what is expected in return - all I know is that is a lot of greenbacks. I'm sure we can expect some good stuff out of this. However, in my continuing effort to help out those wacky kids, here's how they should spend the cash:

1. Improved bagels on Fridays. Perhaps even some of those funky cream cheeses.
2. Squash some blubrrys
3. Two words: "Stripper Tuesday"
4. Get Trinity a lube job - the car, not the secretary.
5. Open a Mevio office in New Jersey. We've got connections (I'll say no more about this).
6. Send a fruit basket to Steve Jobs
7. Flu clinic with Dr. Ron Paul
8. Diction lessons for Comic Strip Blogger.
9. Hair Gel, Hair Gel, Hair Gel.
10. Free tanks of gas for every listener of the Jersey Toddshow. There might be a few bucks left over after this.

Show Number 121 - Lawyers, Guns, and Money (with a little George Carlin)

Slurring by the end of the show - that can't be a good thing. But I did play you some amazing music, including:

1. Geoff Smith
2. The Maine
3. Little Plastic Stars
4. Kelly Zullo
5. Rick Barry

I am starting to get the reports in about the Supreme Court's ruling today in District of Columbia v. Heller, in which the Court struck down the District of Columbia's 32-year-old ban on handguns as incompatible with gun rights under the Second Amendment.

Dick Anthony Heller, 66, an armed security guard, sued the District after it rejected his application to keep a handgun at his home for protection in the same Capitol Hill neighborhood as the court.

The U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia ruled in Heller's favor and struck down Washington's handgun ban, saying the Constitution guarantees Americans the right to own guns and that a total prohibition on handguns is not compatible with that right., the Supreme Court upheld that decision by a 5-4 margin.

Justice Scalia (who looks so much like Emeril Lagasse, that I half expect that he says "Bam!" every time he finishes a decision), writing for the majority, went with an interpretation of the Second Amendment from a historical perspective, saying that the Constitution does not permit "the absolute prohibition of handguns held and used for self-defense in the home."

There is an old saying, "bad cases make bad law", and I think this is the situation here. Mr. Heller appears to have been a responsible gun user, and dear-lord-don't-let-my-progressive-friends-read-this, but from a strict textualist interpretation of the Constitution, Justice Scalia is perfectly right, as the law applies to Mr. Heller.

The problem is, however, in the application of this case to other cases. I am terrified that the ruling may create other bad cases. For example, what's to stop a legislature from presuming that all people in a crime ridden neighborhood are not keeping guns for self-defense, but to commit crimes? You know what they say â one bad apple ruins it for the whole bunch.

How is this going to affect machine guns or other heavy firearms? Because you know me, I believe that a good self-defense is a good offense. I think I should be able to keep a Spanish cannon on top of my house and shoot golden cannonballs at the mail man, because Iâm convinced that that this frakker is bringing me some bad news.

But Justice Scalia says that I can only have a gun for self-defense in the home. So I guess that means when Aunt Mary comes at me with another helping of that corn and Land OâLakes monstrosity because that thing is a killer.

But whatâs great about this is that we can thank Justice Scalia â big time â remember all those Federal laws banning assault rifles and machine guns. Well, those puppies are done and done now â because baby, Iâve played Doom, and Iâve seen Dawn of the Dead, and you know I just think Iâm gonna have to on over to my local Wal-Mart and get me a rail gun. Because when those level 2 Orcs break through my outer defenses I better possess a whole lot of fire power.

But remember, Justice Scalia says that you can only posess a gun in the house for self-defense. So remember, no cracking walnuts with your pea-shooter. No driving in the last nail with your Tommy-gun. Oh and if you intend to have a gun in your house to shoot yourself in the foot, or otherwise harm yourself â well, thatâs against the law.

And I love this â did you know that convicted felons in this country lose the right to possess a fire arm. They canât even have a gun for self-defense. Arenât they the ones who need them the most?? Jeez, if you rob a bank or sell drugs, man youâre going to have some enemies!

Hereâs what I think, and I know George would have approved, and I think Justice Scalia would approve, too. We need more guns. You move into a new house, there should be an AK-AK with a bow on the counter right next to a bowl of fruit. You get a promotion at work, âhey bob, hereâs that gold silencer we promised you.â

We need guns for every man, woman and child. Think of the business opportunities. This would jump start the economy: the new iPopper â it plays Mp3s and shoots .33s. Talk about your Saturday Night Special! Victoriaâs Secret could do a whole line of gun holsters. How hot is that?

But you know Scalia and the majority had even a problem with trigger locks, and I agree, because if some robber is coming after you who has time to get a key. Trust me the folks at Masterlock are fuming.

And think about the children. The poor wee children. Hell, between their Grand Theft Autos and Call of Dutyâs our kids are already a crack shot. But we are cheating them â cheating them. You wouldnât give your beautiful daughter a picture of a nutritious meal â no youâd want to give her the real thing, right? So stop depriving your kids, you bastard!

So at the end of the day, what does this all mean? It means that Mr. Heller was a nice little old man who didnât feel that his tax dollars were going to good use in having the DC Police take care of his safety. Mr. Heller, a security guard, wasnât so concerned about your and my security, but he wanted the option to blast a Jehovahâs Witness when they came to the door to sell him some Reeseâs Pieces.

And 5 Justices of the Supreme Court either liked him or liked the ability to pretend they could get into Thomas Jeffersonâs skull cap. I say good. You know who really benefits from this decision â the lawyers, the Judges, and of course the hospitals. Because now, every application for a gun is going to have to be viewed with ultra strict scrutiny that weâre going to need Tom Cruiseâs Minority Report team to figure out where the gunâs gonna go before we even give it to people.

Why should the Supreme Court do anything to protect us? We didnât vote for them. They donât owe us anything. They liked Heller and Heller gets to keep his gun. Nuthin for nuthin, maybe Scalia made the other four an offer they couldnât refuse. Or maybe, heâs in a fantasy world and thinks its Second Life and not the Second Amendment. Look, when other problems come up, screw it, weâll deal with that on a case by case basis. Its good. Those Supreme Court guys and gals are going to have enough work to keep them busy for life.

Already, there have been a ton of new lawsuits filed. In Atlanta today, there was a law suit filed attempting to over turn a law that bans guns in an airport terminal. You know George would have loved the idea of the words guns and terminal floating together. But what's better than an airport to have a gun when you're picking up mom and dad when they're finally back from their trip from the Yucatan. It certainly brings a whole new ring to the whole duty free thing. I'll take a case of Marlboro's and, wow, dear look at the discount - stick em up. Its all just so synchronous, and I think somewhere in heaven - George Carlin is smiling. 

Come to think of it, if George were here â he would have smacked me on the back of the head for saying that.

Show Number 120 - The Woodfish Files

Check out my interview with the band Woodfish

Check out the show here

Amazing Historical Video - and Funny, too!

I've always been a huge fan of the Harlem Globetrotters and can't wait to take my kids to see them in a few years. I came across this video today and I thought it was amazing.

Show Number 119 - Ice, Ice, Baby

After a brief Summer rest, we're back with some rockin' tunes, including:

1. Woodfish
2. Carlos Bertonatti
3. David Keen
4. American Catapult

Thanks to PW Fenton for the help with the essay.

Listen to the show here

       I will concede something to you right now - I am not very bright at all. Seriously, I have my moments, but overall I am not the most naturally gifted individual out there. I will further concede to you that the weak point of my game is that devilâs bitch known as science.

    Not that I donât like science, I do. I just have the natural aptitude towards it that say, Paris Hilton has toward acting. I just kind of nod my head a little and say uh huh and pretend that I understand whatâs going on.

    So when I saw this article in todayâs paper, man my head almost exploded. Apparently, on the 51st State, Mars, theyâve got the incredibly cool Mars Phoenix Project going on. By the way, didnât the Mars Phoenix project do a rocking cover of âBlinded By the Lightâ at the Stone Pony in â82?

    Iâve been fascinated by everything going on Mars for years. I mean the moon I get, its like just right there, but Mars - man thatâs far away - and at four dollars a gallon youâd better believe that weâre not rushing to go back there anytime soon.

    Anyway, in this summerâs edition of the worldâs spaciest reality show, those folks at NASA are starting to play with remote control cars and digging toys Yeah, I know that they say that were dealing with some pretty sophisticated and expensive equipment that will provide us generations of scientific research but at the end of the day arenât they just some big geeky kids over there at NASA playing with amazingly cool toys. I mean its not rocket science what theyâre doing.

    Actually, it is rocket science. Theyâre frickinâ scientists over there. Today, in the paper, they actually reported that the NASA scientists believe that they saw actual ice on Mars because when they were using their dump truckâs scoop, they saw some white dots, and then in the next picture, the dots were gone.  Apparently, in the Martian thin Martian atmosphere, ice would turn into vapor rather than water - which is exactly the same thing that happens when a new M.Night Shamalan movie hits the movie theater lately - just evaporates into thin air. Jesus, with another stretch on a reference like that theyâre gonna strap my ass to a rocket and launch me like Wiley Coyote doing a sales call for the old ACME corp.

    But donât get swayed off the path on this one kids, because what I told you was actually a very big deal. Scientists believe that they saw water, the basic building block of life on an alien surface. This potentially is a big deal. But did you hear what I said about why they think they saw ice?

       Listen to the University of Arizona's Peter Smith, principal investigator for the Phoenix mission, "It must be ice. These little clumps completely disappearing over the course of a few days, that is perfect evidence that it's ice. There had been some question whether the bright material was salt. Salt can't do that."

    Holy Ghost of Patrick Scotty Doohon. Captain, I just donât believe it. You have got to be kidding me, that with all of their scientific doodaddery theyâre relying upon a god darn peek-a-boo theory on the greatest find in outer space? You have got to be kidding me. Iâve seen enough science fiction to know that Mr. Smith is the first red-shirt off the starship thatâs gonna get whacked. Give me a break. Thatâs like the first fifteen minutes of every bad science fiction movie that I ever seen. Next thing you know Sam Neill is going to telling me that those white dots are actually an interstellar gateway to the dark reaches of hell, and the crewâs gonna end up with their eyes all poked out.

    Ok, actually, as Iâm saying that - Scott Sigler - that ideaâs mine. Crap, I just gave him a rockinâ idea for yet another book. Call me Scott, weâll work out a deal.

    That being said, I havenât seen a worse scientific process since Kristie Alley decided to go on a crash diet. I mean come on - its Mars - the red planet - the âSun
planetâ - give me a break. Thereâs more of a chance of there being Ice in Beezelbubâs gin and tonic than there is that this stuff was actual ice. I mean I donât mean to alarm anyone, but Iâve picked up a log and seen the ants scurry away, so whatâs to think that these drops of whatever just didnât run away. My point is, just because an alien doesnât walk up to the video camera looking like former Indiana Pacer, Reggie Miller, doesnât mean they ainât out there, and for our friends at NASA to just assume....oh man, they better have them watch the Alien triology as a training film or someoneâs gonna have a little alien singing âHello, my darling, hello my babyâ right from their chest cavity.

    But let me give our Space Jockeys the benefit of the doubt, I did say that I really never paid attention in science class. I mean it is entirely possible, however unlikely, that science fiction has completely screwed with my cabeza. What does it mean if we really have discovered Martian Ice. Obviously, beyond the whole - very cold basic building block of life thing, this has some major implications for our society.

    I mean think about it, the manifestation of Hillary Clintonâs personality has finally been found to have been cloned on Mars.

    I mean can you imagine the potential commercial implications of this. Hell, Miller Ice just sounds so damn terrerstrial now, because the damn coldest drink in the universe has to be Coors Martian Ice. All those fantastic hip-hop artists, Ice Cube. Vanilla Ice, and friend of the Jersey Toddshow Ice-T, as well as George âthe Icemanâ Gervin, and Batman villain, Mr. Freeze are all gonna have to take out extensions on their copyright. Long time rivals, Flavor-Ice and Rocket Pops are going to ultimately have to merge to deal with their common interests. However, Icy-Hot may continue to remind people that if you get it on your johnson that it will give you a feeling thatâs âout of this world.â

    And oh my lord, can you imagine the prissy wenches at the gym with their $100 imported martian ice water. Donât even get me started

    I mean, I canât complain, because other than the discussion of Rush Limbaughâs sex life - when has frigidity gotten so much press?

    For that matter, hey NASA - why donât you guys figure out a way to bring some of that stuff back - Iâd love to try my Scotch with some of that there martian ice....

    Jeez, I probably should have paid better attention in school.

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Hey, its not like I just put the words "Tom Cruise and John Travolta Gay" on my website just for the sole purpose of getting random hits to the page.

That would just be wrong.

Featured Comment

This was left over on the Mevio site for the Jersey Toddshow, and I had to repost it here....

"One of the more entertaining shows ever! How is it he can find all the great music the fantastic briefs, and work for living too! I bow to Sir Jersey Todd and you should too!"

Uhm, throw in 400-crazed clients, a 3-year old and a 1-year old, and more extra curricular activities then I probably should be involved with, and the Answer is:

I have no freaking idea how I'm pulling this all off.

It does get easier, right?

Show Number 118 - Commie Movie Reviews

1. Reel Big Fish
2. Blue Number Nine
3. AM
4. Chris Belden
5. Nelo
   
6. Billie Holiday
   "That Ol' Devil Called Love" (mp3)
   from "Unique"
   (Global Journey)
   
   More On This Album

This blog is sponsored by...

Now Hiring

I know the economy is tough. I also know that jobs are hard to come by, and its even harder for employers to keep good employees once they find them. However, today I saw a sign in lovely, downtown Manville, New Jersey that made me wonder.

It was for an Arby's, and said "Now hiring: happy employees."

This caused me to wonder. How happy do you have to be to work at Arby's? I've been to Arby's, and generally, the people that work at Arby's are not necessarily the happiest people that you've ever met. In fact, some of them are tougher to deal with than Arby's roast beef.

Perhaps they are looking for an image change. Maybe, on the interview form there is some sort of five-star rating for happiness. Perhaps they are going to try to cut into Chuck E Cheeses' turf. Frankly, I do not believe that this is a good idea, as that rat is an absolute mobster.

However, to be honest, when I have my double-cheesy roast beef, dripping with chemical laden cheese, with a side order of death fries, I don't necessarily need Suzy Sunshine dealing me my gallon of just-for-the-sake of it Diet Coke on the side. I need some surly former high-school lineman whose dreams of much, much more lay somewhere between Summer two-a-days and one too many at the after-prom party.

Because if I'm going to eat crap like Arby's that's ultimately is going to take decades off of my life - I certainly don't need it served with a smile.

How do we look?

Thanks so much for the guys at Libsyn.com for helping out - the page looks great.

Go buy some Wizzard stock.

Show Number 117 - Social Networks, Lawyers and the Amish

Ok, we're back in the swing of things, with another show back at you very quickly. Tonight, featuring:

1. Made for Chickens by Robots
2. Joe Colledge
3. The Radio Knives
4. Black Ice (Featuring Ice-T and Black Silver)
5. Neal Fox
6. JJ Appelton

Check out UC Radio Podshow and the Podcast Junky

Download the show here

Show Number 116 - Jersey Todd and the Chamber of Horrors

Listen to the show here

   Are you ready for a little mystery? Some magic? Some Wizardry? Well, don't expect any of that crap here. Ever since Groo the Caveman Magician first sold his first ticket in the cave to charge admission to have the other cavemen watch him try to make a Stegosaurus disappear, the real magic has been about the ability of a performer making money disappear from your pocket. Interesting story about Groo the Caveman Magician: yeah, he lost his arm doing the old "let me pull a veloceraptor from my hat" trick - don't worry, he got Workers' Comp. for it, which I think back then entitled him to an extra few berries from the insurance carrier. 

     Yeah, I'm a cynic. Yeah, I question everything. Sure, I wonder how long that rabbit has been crammed in that hat, and secretly laugh to myself every time that nobody ever makes the magician put that hat full of poop on their head once the rabbit is pulled out.

     That's why when one of the world's greatest purveyors of all things magical, J.K. Rowlings was outed this week as the absolute Muggle that she really is, it just warmed the cockles of me heart.

 
     You know J.K., she's the author of all of the Harry Potter books. He's a wizard, you know. Its all about magic. Yeah, I'll admit that I've never actually read any of the Harry Potter books, but I have been dragged to all of the movies. Look, I'm not going to beat up a book that makes kids read - I mean that's a good thing. Hopefully, someday they'll move on to other great science fiction like J.C. Hutchins or Bradbury, or Orson Scott Card's Enders Game. Oh, Enders Game, published years before Harry Potter, its a story about A young kid growing up in an oppressive family situation suddenly learns that he is one of a special class of children with special abilities, who are to be educated in a remote training facility where student life is dominated by an intense game played by teams flying in midair, at which this kid turns out to be exceptionally talented and a natural leader. He trains other kids in unauthorized extra sessions, which enrages his enemies, who attack him with the intention of killing him; but he is protected by his loyal, brilliant friends and gains strength from the love of some of his family members. He is given special guidance by an older man of legendary accomplishments who previously kept the enemy at bay. He goes on to become the crucial figure in a struggle against an unseen enemy who threatens the whole world. Oh, yeah, the kids are really going to love it when they grow up and read that one....Actually, I have to give credit to Uncle Orson who pointed out the similarity on that one, of course. Of course, you could throw the whole Star Wars mythos into that mix or Sabrina the Teenage Witch for that matter too. Ah Melissa Joan Hart in Maxim magazine. It always does come back to that for me, doesn't it.

    What ticks me off about J.K. is the hypocrisy of her. The official story is that she was suffering from clinical depression and was suicidal while she was writing the initial Harry Potter stories. Sad. She was a single unemployed mother living in a fantasy world and hoping to get her book published. Notwithstanding the fact, that she, as opposed to millions of other potential authors got lucky and got hit by a lightening bolt between her eyes and had fate smile upon her and got her book published, I gotta tell you - I think you can take the nut out of the nutty situation, but you still have an absolute wack job.

    Good ol' Jo is still living in a fantasy world, but now she has something worse than Dementors working for her. She's got something worse than Voldermort working for her. She's got an evil pack of lawyers working for her.

    First, she's suing a little publishing house in Michigan for attempting to publish a 400-page Lexicon which catelogs the Potter universe. Its an extension of a fan website that she herself gave an award to. You know, it goes through the characters and the spells and is as interesting to read to most adults as the backstory on Pokemon. Now that the authors want to publish some pseudo-scholarly material about it, she sends out a Freeze spell to try to stop it. In fact, they took some testimony on this. On the stand, her main complaint is that she believes that she would do a better job doing it herself. Oh please, Jo-Jo. You have got to be kidding me. Go ahead and do it yourself. Once you publish fiction, pretty much anyone is able to do anything they want to do with it as long as they attribute it back to you, which these fine folks have tried to do. Jesus, how many 4th grade book reports does she now have to go after. I dunno what the statute of limiations is on those kind of things, but if I were a 4-th grade teacher its time to start ratting out the students to the publishing company every time one of those Potter book reports come in - why not, teachers don't make enough money and neither you nor I want our taxes raised, so come on teachers - get creative.

    This week, she got a Court ruling allowing her to sue journalists in London because they took a picture of her kid with a telephoto lens and published it. The original court tossed that puppy quicker than you can say Shazam, but now an Appeals Court has said that the children of famous parents have the same right to expect privacy as the children of parents who are not well known. The case stems from a picture that was published in a newspaper of David Rowling being pushed on a buggy on a street when he was a baby, and sets the stage for a trial over damages.
 

    Now, I can't claim to be an expert in British law, and I certainly don't want to get into the poor, horrible state of privacy of our great and public celebrities, but I have no idea what these Judges were thinking. In fact, based on same, I don't give any credence to any British Judge who's last name isn't Cowell. I agree that the children of celebrities have a certain right to privacy. I agree that there is an inherent security concern here, but come on. The kid was probably surrounded by a phalanax of security guards, and was on a public street. You, I, and the rest of the muggles out there have absolutely no right to privacy on a public street. That's actually what its called - public, and if Rowlings didn't want to be in the public eye then I don't know, maybe she needs to travel by broom or something. Hell, the Court's ruling doesn't seem to make any sense, because I have no expectation that if I take my kids to a frickin sheep sheering event at our local dairy farm and some Jimmy Olsen wants to take a picture, then frankly I should be entitled to a free copy of the paper and that's it.

    At the end of the day, where is she really going with this - she's a billionaire already. Damages? What in the world is little David Rowling's measure of damages. Uhm, dude, you looked like a baby in the picture. We all have baby pictures. You're mom is a billionaire. What exactly is J.K. Rowling's 5-year old kid going to do with damages? I'm not saying that celebrity kids aren't entitled to go to Court, but the purpose of the Civil justice system in both the US and Englandia is to make an aggreived party whole. As such, I think you have to award damages in this matter, if its found to be compensable which I've said I already disagree with, in the the terms that would make a reasonable 5-year old feel as if he received justice - that's right - the horrible, evil newspaper, should provide him with a DVD of Dora the Explorer and a Juice Box.
    

    Jeez, do you think that the newspapers are really going to learn a lesson about this. Hell, by suing little book manufacturers or little newspapers Rowling's actually giving them more free advertising than she ever intended to do. Frankly, here's my two cents on it. We have, by her own admission, a bit of a nut job who somehow gets lucky in writing these books and all of a sudden her life has meaning and credibility beyond her wildest fantasies. You remember all of the talk about whether Harry Potter would get killed in the last book. I don't want to ruin it for anyone, but uhm, there was no way in the universe that he was gonna die because there would be absolutely no possibility of another book, which is 100% going to happen as soon as J.K. Rowlings realizes that she can't write her way out of a paper bag on any other subject. Oh yeah, Soylent Green is people. Kaizer Souze is Kevin Spacy, Bruce Willis is actually dead, and the Cloverfield monster looks like Dick Cheney's wife. Any other endings you want me to hit. jerseytoddshow@gmail.com

     In the end, J.K. Rowling was once accused of making the Harry Potter books to support witchcraft. I think that's ridiculous, of course. Its always a great thing when kids read. But now that she's shot her literary load, and is floundering around looking for some sort of purpose in life, perhaps its best she send the lawyers back to the hell from wence they came.

    Being accused of witchcraft is one thing, but bitchcraft...that's another story.

I'm a Mac

I'm still standing. Taken a few blows to the head, but they can't knock me down. Moving the family is nearly finished, and we are almost done living out of boxes. Now we have begun the process of moving you - the JTS Family.

This weekend, I purchased an Imac. Wow. Wow. Wow. I have had computers since I was a child, the first being a TRS-80 Color Computer that was 16k. I have resisted the Apple temptation until now, and I now realize what a dope I've been. From the purchasing experience, to service tech. calls., to the rocking machine itself - I am an absolute convert. At 36-years old, I finally realized that I don't need a computer that does a billion things - I just need one that works consistently. So far, so good.

That being said, I am still in the process of hooking the podcast rig up, and of course there have been some complications. I am also strongly considering producing the show in Garageband, and am concerned that the show might lose the "live" feel that we've come to know and love. We shall see - but its certainly exciting.

Watch this space for additional updates as they become available, and if you have the time and want to use it charitably, I'm always available on Gmail and Twitter, and have loads of questions to pick your brain with.

Show Number 115 - Moving

A quicky bfore I take the studio apart and move four miles down the road. See ya on the other side.

Featuring Geoff Smith

Download the show here

Show Number 114 - Gossip

Playing hooky? Not me...I'm podcasting. Featuring

1. The Ike Reilly Assasination
2. The Bangkok Five
3. The Animate Objects
4. The Dan Sheehan Conspiracy
5. Mark Rudd
6. Mobile

Featuring Howitzer

Go visit: Digital Flotsam and the Electrical Language Podcast

Download or play the show here

       Want a little gossip? Want a little rumor, some innuendo? I'm gonna tell you a little secret. On June 29, 2007, the straightest governor in New Jersey history, Jon Corzine appointed. Anne Milgram as the Attorney General. Oh she is such a babe, shes a good lawyer, and well, for purposes of her tapping my phone lines and otherwise investigating this podcast - she's got a tremendous sense of humor.

    But she is the head of Jersey Todd's favorite former employer, the New Jersey Division of Law and Public Safety and they have found an issue that affects the lives of all New Jerseyians, so much, so much, that even if it means involving precious State resources and legal brain power, even if it means making a New Jersey a national laughing stock, we're gonna go for it. Because its not about flawed voting machines, or tax reform, or education reform, or even, crime. No, the first Attorney General of the State of New Jersey that is actually younger than yours truly has sent her minions to attack the one thing that no lawyer has ever done really all that well dealing with....gossip.

     Did this one hit you at rumour city, did you catch this on the grapevine, did you catch the scuttlebutt? The nation's most smokin' Attorney General Anne Milgram, has sent some subpoenas out to the folks at Juicycampus.com, and some of their advertisers. And let me just say, in my best Colbert impersonation, that extra "E" on the end of Anne's name - that stands for "Excellent". Juicy Campus is a website that allows for visitors to post anonymous comments about people at colleges. You can post who's the biggest campus slut, and who's the dumbest professor, and you can do it all anonymously. I know these kids in college today all have it so easy. When I was at Syracuse in the nineties, we all knew that the campus slut was some girl named "Bullet-head" which was really odd because I never even knew her real name, I just heard some wacked out story about her at some fraternity party which involved some football players and small animals. Of course, I didn't hear the story until like May of my Senior year, and I have no idea why her nickname was "Bullethead", and even in my over-exposed to bad pornography brain, I still don't get the joke. However, you college kids with your fancy technology got us old men beat in the important information department. I dunno, when I was in school, all you had to do was ask someone. Its all a bit juvenille.

     Except when its not so juvenile. My secret crush, Anne, got involved with juicy-campus.com when a Princeton's University student's private information got posted on their website. This is not good. When the kid tried to get it off their site, their was no mechanism for them to do so. Now Juicy-campus tell their advertisers that they ban offensive material, but, uhm not really. It's kind of like putting out a suggestion box without actually having that little slot in the box to actually put the suggestions in. The problem is that many of the postings on juicy-campus are so malicious that students are afraid they will affect their real lives as Google continues to serve up search results to future employers and family members. Many students have complained that Juicy-Campus refuses to remove false statements about them, and the site isn't exactly gaining points among student organizations, school administrations, and lawmakers in general.  

     The AG's office sent out a flurry of subpoena to juicy-campus and their advertisers under the New Jersey Consumer Fraud Act asking questions about the site, asking about how they get their ad revenue and how the jammy-jam is thrown together. The NJ Consumer Fraud Act deals with information in terms of a commercial transaction. If you had a highlighter, I'd ask you to take it and put a big yellow line through your screen and highlight that sentence - its going to be important later.

     Juicy-campus, through their public relations folks, raised holy hell in a press release this week stating that they've broken no laws, and that they are immune from civil liability due to the actions of their users. They've called the investigation "absurd" Yeah yeah, we're impressed tough guys. Maybe Juicy-campus shouldn't retain the public relations firm that is located in the mall somewhere next to Orange Julius and H.R. Block. These guys are doing more harm than good. 
 

"'Juicy-Campus has not violated any laws. Juicy-Campus is immune under federal law for liability arising from statements made by others. The Attorney General of New Jersey , who apparently is not a fan of the Site, know this and are instead taking the position that by asking our users not to post content that is unlawful, abusive or defamatory, among other things, we are somehow required to remove posts that may fall into those categories. They contend that by failing to do so, we have defrauded our users.' (emphasis added)'"

     They are like, so, not getting it. This is absolutely 100% not a First Amendment issue. Apparently, Juicy-campus was so hopped up on diet coke and chocolate bars just waiting for someone to go after them on a First Amendment issue - like whether they can be held liable in a civil court if someone actually got hurt as a result of something posted on their site, not that they actually should care about that, that like Jo-bu from "Major League" they couldn't hit the curve ball that was thrown at them.

     This is a really developing and interesting area of the law and frankly juicy-campus shouldn't be so smug. Under Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, "No provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider." Ok, that's fine, and a case that came out of Texas, in 2007, called Doe v. My-space actually held My-space immune from liability for failing to institute safety measures to prevent sexual assaults of minors and failure to institute policies relating to age verification. It didn't mean that My-space didn't get off their ass and make some major changes to their site in terms of age verification and monitoring their comments, and maybe that was done for the legal end, but it was also done to satisfy those funky market forces, like their advertisers that don't want to besmirch their otherwise pristine reputations.  In fact, companies like Google and Adbrite have refused to take Juicycampus' money.

    Doe v. My-space is only a decision from a District Court in Texas, and I wouldn't doubt for one second that the victim in that case, a 14-year old girl who was sexually assaulted after meeting someone on my-space isn't moving that case forward through the Court system, and I'm sure that some grandstanding legislator won't be using this story at some point to revise the rules of the CDA. Stay tuned kids, the law is going to change on this one right before our eyes, and its going to affect everyone on the net, and in the spirit of the March Madness season let me do my best Dick Vitale and make a prediction. The Supreme Court baybee, they're gonna be cleaning the Boards on this one. John Roberts, he's a diaper dandy. They're gonna take the CDA downtown. That Ruth Bader Ginsburg, RBG, is gonna throw the alley oop, and the Supreme Court is someday going to say that places like myspace or facebook or juicy campus is going to have to at the very least monitor their own sites for bad behavior.

     In the end, let me whisper something in the ear of those kids at Juicy-campus. This is not a First Amendment issue. As of today, the CDA says that Anne M. can't go after them over content. Even though these Juicy-campus.com permits and, in my humble opinion, encourages its users to post some awfully racist and sexist stuff and provides them absolute anonymity to do so. No, the AG can't send a few flying monkeys from her lair to check into that. So, she's investigating the relationships between Juicy-campus and their advertisers, and whether JC accurately told their advertisers how the site worked when they gave in some money to advertise on the site. Already, one advertiser has pulled their ads from the site, and if there is any other material misrepresentation going on here where money is exchanged Juicy-campus may have a lot of explaining to do, and perhaps Juicy-campus should lose its flippant attitude. Trust me, its Ms. Milgram if your nasty, and this is nasty. This is the Web 2.0 equivalent of going after Al Capone over tax evasion rather than his substantive crimes, and as we say in Joisey - you mess with the bull, you get the horns.  

oh....and how 'bout this:

I drank Joe Klein's milkshake

Never one to brag, but take a look at Time Magazine's Joe Klein's article regarding Al Gore versus my essay in Show 111.

Frankly, with all due respect to Mr. Klein, did you make a "Memoirs of an Invisible Man" reference?

I think not.

Show Number 113 - Jersey Todd Cross-Checks the New York Rangers

Coming off of a cold, its some of the best music that I've played on the show yet. Featuring:

1. Justin Hopkins and the Guilt
2. Ray Tarantino
3. Kongos
4. Glen Philips
5. Jerzy Jung

Featuring Colie Brice

Go over to Accuquote and save on your life insurance.

Listen to the show or download it here

       Back when I was in law school, I played in a Law School Street hockey league. 5 on 5, on a tennis Court, knocking an orange ball around while miserably trying to stay upright on inline skates. I gotta admit, like many of my athletic adventures, I was miserable. Don't get me wrong, I had great eye hand coordination, played great defense, and actually scored a ton of goals. The problem was that I didn't have great eye, hand, feet coordination, and most of my stopping came courtesy of the tennis court fence. But hey, in a league filled with future lawyers, this was a skill level a tad beyond embarassing. By the way, and I know someone is going to ask, yes, having any kind of sports league with future tort lawyers is a pain in the ass. Some hockey leagues hold a draft - we had a three hour conference call going over the rules, and drafting the league's charter. Even geeks have to have their fun.

      I even have a pretty scar over my eye from the time that one of the other players tried to help me stop rolling by treating my face like a shish kabob with his stick. I'm sure he didn't mean to wack me - hell - he was trying to stay on his feet, too. But I ended up with a nice 8-stitch gash over my eye, and I think he's senior counsel at an insurance defense firm now. Funny how things turn out.

      So that being said, I am always fascinated when the law, the internet, and the wide, wide world of sports collide like a cross check from Jeff Beukeboom. This past week, the Rangers, who have one the Stanley Cup only 4 times out of 83 years (which comes out to a success rate of 4.18 for you math geeks out there), once again got the ol' slap shot through the five hole. Uhm I'm sorry, pushed too hard on the hyperbole button.  

     But,  back in the fall, MSG, the company that owns the Rangers filed a lawsuit in Federal Court because the National Hockey League promised to fine it a grand a day if it didn't give the league complete control of its website. Apparently, the league wanted to convert it into one of those cookie cutter websites that makes every team in the league look exactly the same. You've seen it pretty much accross the board from major league baseball to the NBA to the NFL. All of these websites look like they were pooped out by the exact same programmer.

     The Rangers attorneys, wearing their home whites, claim that the NHL was seeking to control the competitive activities of independent businesses in ways that are not necessary to the functioning of that legitimate joint venture. In fact, they claimn that the